


enough

by gaytimetraveller



Category: Persona 2
Genre: Angst, M/M, aaaaaaaaa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 14:25:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8059771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaytimetraveller/pseuds/gaytimetraveller
Summary: Even after everything was over, not everything was always okay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hello here i am with my one real passion: angst

Jun would be lying if he said he didn’t think Tatsuya deserved someone better than him. At least he was a good liar.

Tatsuya meant the world to him, and god did he think that he deserved someone better. That wasn’t to say he thought Tatsuya should leave him, _oh god no_ , Jun wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive Tatsuya leaving him (especially if it was his fault, _what if it was his fault_ ). Jun couldn’t even begin to understand a semblance of a life without Tatsuya, couldn’t grasp the concept of living without his other half, how would he survive on his own?

_(He wouldn’t.)_

No, Jun didn’t think Tatsuya should leave him, but dear god, _what did he ever do to deserve him_? In his own, imperfect opinion, Jun didn’t especially think he’d done much to deserve much of anything. Yet, here he was, living with the only person he’d ever loved this _much_ , and most days he annoyed that nagging voice in the back of his head that only seemed to live to serve the purpose of telling him that he’s not good enough, will never be good enough, has never been _good enough_.

Jun could only wish he would be _strong enough_ , strong enough to be strong when Tatsuya couldn’t be. That he could be the strong one when Tatsuya was up late at night, or talking in his sleep, always saying that it was all his fault, that he was the one who’d never been strong enough (to Jun, he’d always been the strongest, but he never seemed to see that), that he should’ve done more, went further for the sake of everyone else. Jun could never blame Tatsuya, it wasn’t his fault, he’d never been the one who wasn’t strong enough.

To Jun, the only one who wasn’t doing enough was himself.

Tatsuya had gone further than Jun thought he ever could, but it seemed the best of their both efforts had _never_ been _enough_.

Some nights Jun wished he had the strength to not be the one waking up in the middle of the night crying with Tatsuya bumbling to comfort him, and he knew Tatsuya was crying too, knew he wasn’t the only one waking up after another nightmare about the past that (hadn’t) happened, another glimpse into that terrible future that’d (never) come into fruition. Jun wished he had the strength to _say_ something to Tatsuya when he knew he was suffering, they were both suffering, they’d always been suffering. Some nights Jun couldn’t even remember the part where he hadn’t been hurting.

Yet some days they weren’t suffering, not as much, the pain was barely the sting of a paper cut and life was _good_. Some days life was everything they’d always wanted it to be, bright and full of possibilities, after everything that’d happened, it felt like they could do _anything_. Really, nothing’s ever too hard anymore after saving the world (or at least that’s what they all tell you, or what you tell yourself to make the pain more dull).

(Some things are still hard; like comforting Tatsuya on the days when neither of them had the strength to get out of bed and they were alone, alone with each other but at the same time _alone_. Alone with every doubt and anxiety and uncertainty that had been pushed upon them, by themselves or by others.)

Other things were hard too, like watching Maya’s face fall every time that scar on her side had a faint etch of pain, or when she bumped it against something too hard and all everyone can see is blood and fear and sorrow and the end of everything all over again.

Even on the days when everything’s good, when it’s all sunshine and flowers and smiles, things can always come crashing down again, _always_. Even if it isn’t the nightmares back again, or another phantom pain for another wound with or without a scar.

Sometimes Jun sees his mother on the television and it feels like everything’s going to fall down around him, but Tatsuya’s always _there_ , always there to soothe him, to hold him tighter than anyone else ever had when Jun cries and keeps stuttering into his shoulders that’d he’ll never be _good enough_.

And sometimes Jun was the one holding Tatsuya, wrapped around him when Tatsuya is the one sobbing for his life, crying more than he ever would in front of anyone else, unable to stop as he thinks of every possibility where he could _lose Jun_. He gets tear marks on Jun’s shirt every time, mumbling that he’s not strong enough to lose him, _not again, never again_ , and Jun can only hold him tighter.

Neither of them had been completely okay for a long time, and neither believed that things would be completely okay again, but maybe someday, somewhere out there, everything would be just good enough. Just good enough for them to be happy enough, even if it was more likely that one (if not both) of them would be losing sleep some (most) nights, getting up in the morning with faint tear trails still staining their faces, and smiling in the mirror because _they’ve made it this far, who says we can’t make it even further?_ And even if some days one (neither) of them had the strength to get out of bed, somehow, some way, someday it was going to be good enough.

And it was.


End file.
